On marriage

This morning I came across two articles about marriage.
Emuna Braverman discusses a marriage questionnaire in a magazine.

I was particularly struck by a questionnaire I saw recently. It began: Please list 10 things that your partner does that please you.
I knew we were off to a bad start. If the relationship is viewed from the perspective of what my partner does for me, it will never be enough. The judges will never hold up that magical 10. This is a distorted and backwards way to look at relationships.
The first directive should have been: Please list 10 things you do that please your partner. That would be the more appropriate focus, the more productive angle.
She concludes with the following advice.
So ask yourself this morning: What can I do today for my spouse that will give him or her pleasure? Ask yourself tonight: did I succeed? How can I do better tomorrow?
http://www.aish.com/f/mom/101743328.html

Hillel Fendel reviews I Only Want to Get Married Once by Chana Levitan.
As a public service for readers who might be undergoing a blurring of these states of mind at this very moment, here are some sample questions the book asks:
* Are you relating to the person you are dating - or to an image?
* Does your relationship have healthy boundaries?
* What do people you are close to say about the person you are dating?
Perhaps most telling of all is the last question:
If the person you are dating never changes, would you still want to get married?
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Books/Book.aspx/134546

Sound advice for those in a marital relationship and those who are trying to find their prospective spouses.