Attention girls of shidduch age. Do you dread the shadchan’s words, “send me a picture?”
Now, you no longer have to fear. Contact PSSP Inc. We guarantee the highest quality shidduch pictures ever. Photo Shop Shidduch Pictures Inc. makes use of the latest technology to remove unsightly facial hair, acne and warts.
Teeth need whitening and straightening ? Now there’s no reason to spend thousands on dental work. PSSP Inc. will substitute your teeth with straight, gleaming white teeth.
Spare the expense and pain of a nose job. Choose from our list of button, pointy, upturned and WASP noses.
Crop your size. Choose from sizes 0, 2, 4 and 6. Note: 20$ extra for size 0.
Sounds good. What do I have to do?
1. Call PSSP Inc. at 1-800-555-YOFI or email hevel.hayofi@simchas.purim.com.
2. Fill in form, specifying eye, hair color, nose shape….
3. After he sees your picture, tell him you are an old fashioned girl, and it is your minhag to have the first two meetings at your home.
4. When he arrives, ask your parents to bring him into the salon, illuminated by only one candle.
5. Apologize for the dim lighting and explain that there is a blackout on your block.
6. The third meeting can be in broad daylight. At that point, he will be so enthralled with your scintillating wit and middos tovos that the wart on the tip of your nose won’t bother him.
And remember, when you become engaged, before uploading your photos to be posted on OnlySimchas, PSSP Inc. will remove red eyes from your simcha pictures.
Why look like this?
When you can look like this?
Note: Pictures submitted for touch ups on Facebook will not be processed as a Yiddishe meidel has no business having her pictures plastered on that site.
Teeth need whitening and straightening ? Now there’s no reason to spend thousands on dental work. PSSP Inc. will substitute your teeth with straight, gleaming white teeth.
Spare the expense and pain of a nose job. Choose from our list of button, pointy, upturned and WASP noses.
Crop your size. Choose from sizes 0, 2, 4 and 6. Note: 20$ extra for size 0.
Sounds good. What do I have to do?
1. Call PSSP Inc. at 1-800-555-YOFI or email hevel.hayofi@simchas.purim.com.
2. Fill in form, specifying eye, hair color, nose shape….
3. After he sees your picture, tell him you are an old fashioned girl, and it is your minhag to have the first two meetings at your home.
4. When he arrives, ask your parents to bring him into the salon, illuminated by only one candle.
5. Apologize for the dim lighting and explain that there is a blackout on your block.
6. The third meeting can be in broad daylight. At that point, he will be so enthralled with your scintillating wit and middos tovos that the wart on the tip of your nose won’t bother him.
And remember, when you become engaged, before uploading your photos to be posted on OnlySimchas, PSSP Inc. will remove red eyes from your simcha pictures.
Why look like this?
When you can look like this?
Note: Pictures submitted for touch ups on Facebook will not be processed as a Yiddishe meidel has no business having her pictures plastered on that site.
Very cute. Too bad the solution to the shidduch crisis isn't as easy as that.
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