If it's horses, count me in

The holiday of Passover is fast approaching, a time where we will be together with families or friends and sit around the Pesach table, celebrating the seder. It is the time when we have occasion to speak to people at hotels or with our family during the holiday meals. How will we ensure that loshon hora won't be spoken? The following is part of an email that I received from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage foundation.

You are sitting at someone’s Shabbos table or at a wedding, and several people start speaking loshon hora. What do you do? As we have just learned, listening to loshon hora is forbidden; how, then, can you avoid transgression?
The Chofetz Chaim discusses your options.
1. You can rebuke the gossipers (making sure, of course, to do it in a respectful way). You can remind them that this is a Torah prohibition, halachically equivalent to munching on shrimp or bacon.
2. If you know that they will not listen to rebuke, then “it is a great mitzvah,” writes the Chofetz Chaim, to get up and leave table.
3. If you find this impossible, then you should prepare yourself to stand firm so that you will not be guilty of any sin. Make sure to fulfill the following requirements:
a. Decide firmly in your mind that you will refuse to believe any loshon hora.
b. Make sure that your facial expression does not convey any hint of approval of what is being said. At the very least, you should sit stone-faced; if possible, your expression should convey strong disapproval.......

In a famous incident, the Chofetz Chaim was traveling when he found himself in the company of a group of traders who were deeply engrossed in conversation. The Chofetz Chaim approached them and said, “And what, may I ask, are we talking about? If it’s horses count me in, but if it’s people count me out!”

This past Sukkot, a guest was sitting in my living room and she began a conversation by saying, "Do you know what the rebbetzin did?" I had agreed a few weeks before to join a shemirat halashon group which involved davening for zivugim for a list of people as well as to accept upon myself not to speak loshon hora during a 2 hour period of the day. When the guest asked her question, it was during my 2 hour period that I had agreed to refrain from speaking . I quickly covered my ears and shouted, "don't tell me, it's my loshon hora hour." I felt so silly going to such great lengths but she got the message.

So, let's resolve to be careful with our speech. It helps to visualize beforehand what you would do if you encounter a situation where someone is about to say something you don't want to listen to. Perhaps, we can tell our families the above story and if we hear someone about to speak, our code words will be, "If it's horses, count me in." The whole family will burst into laughter and the awkward situation will pass without further incident.