Both Rabbi Glasman (in the video below) and Yaakov Hibbert ask the same question about an episode in this week's parsha, albeit with slightly different answers.
After Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, he meets his brother Binyamin and they cry together. Rashi states that Yosef cried because he saw that in the future, the Beis Hamikdash, which was in Binyamin's portion of the land, would be destroyed. Binyamin cried because he saw that the Mishkan in Shiloh, which was in the territory of Yosef, would be destroyed.
Why asks R’ Mordechai HaCohen ZaTZaL did each one not also cry on the destruction that would happen in their own portion? He answers with a tremendous Yesod. Each one realized that “everything Hashem does is ultimately for the good” [Gemora Brochos 60b]. On their extremely high level they understood that the destruction that would take place would be what was needed, and would be for the good of the Yidden. But this sort of reckoning can only be used on oneself. When relating to another person then you can’t take this approach, to someone else you have to sympathize over the destruction. You can’t speak to him as if he is you on your level. So each one cried and showed compassion over the destruction that would take place in the others portion.
Read full devar torah: http://www.shortvort.com/vayigash-parasha/11612-vayigash-dont-treat-others-as-you-treat-yourself
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