This past week, Hamodia published an excerpt about assertiveness in which the author talked about being the first to greet another person."There is one kind of lack of assertiveness that disturbs me, because it is not in keeping with proper middos.
I see people passing each other on Shabbos ... and very few people say "Good Shabbos" unless they see someone they know and then they may stop and have a conversation.
I don't understand this at all. The Talmud says that the great Rabi Yochanan ben Zakai always initiated greeting someone he met in the street, even if that person was not Jewish (Berachos 17a).
... The Talmud teaches, "Receive every person with a pleasant facial expression" (Pirkei Avos 1:16).
... Harav Yisrael of Salant, zt"l, was on his way to shul Erev Yom Kippur and met a person who was preoccupied with the solemnity of the day and in doing teshuva, which caused him to be very down on himself. He passed Rav Yisrael without greeting him, and his facial expression was grim. Rav Yisrael said to him, "Because you are involved in doing teshuva, you take it out on me?"
... The Talmud says that initiating the shalom aleichem greeting is a segulah for longevity."
Another anecdote that illustrates the point of being friendly to one and all is the following story:
"The Makor Baruch once traveled to Switzerland to raise money for the yeshivah which his father, the Seret-Viznitzer, had established in Chaifa. Two Seret-Viznitzer chassidim who lived in Switzerland accompanied him on his fundraising rounds.
One day, they passed one of the largest and well-established banks in Switzerland, and one of the Swiss chassidim decided they would enter the bank. “Come, we will try to allow the Jewish bank manager, Dr. Koshland, the merit of tzeddaka and supporting Torah.” They entered the bank, and the chassid who knew Dr. Koshland introduced the Makor Baruch. “Please meet the son of the Seret-Viznitzer Rebbe. He has mosdos in Chaifa and he came to Switzerland to collect money for the yeshivah…”
As soon as the bank manager heard the name of the Seret-Viznitzer Rebbe, he excitedly arose from his chair and said, “You want to tell me about the Seret-Viznitzer Rebbe?! You want to tell me? I’ll tell you who he was!”
The three men were shocked. How in the world did the bank manager know the Seret-Viznitzer Rebbe? The bank manager sat them down and told them his story.
“Years ago, I traveled on vacation to Davos on a skiing trip. One morning in Davos, I went to the small shul to daven Shacharis already dressed in my ski clothes, in order to save time. An elderly man greeted me warmly with ‘Sholom Aleicham’.
“I was surprised by the warm greeting from a total stranger. I said, ‘Kavod Harav, I think you’re mistaken. I don’t recognize you. Maybe the Rav meant to greet someone else?’
“’I didn’t make a mistake!’ the Rav said, who was none other than the Seret-Viznitzer Rebbe who was in Davos recuperating from an illness. ‘I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve never seen you. You must be new here and you deserve a Shalom Aleicham. No?’
Dr. Koshland continued his story. “This greeting impressed me greatly. I thought to myself, ‘When in our generation does an elderly honorable man greet a young man – a total stranger?’ When I returned from my ski outing that day, I saw the Rebbe sitting on a bench. I approached him and inquired about his welfare, and he answered me warmly, as if I was his closest friend. From then on, I maintained a close connection to the Rebbe. I sought his advice often, and from then on I arranged my trips to Davos when I knew the Rebbe would be there as well.”
The two Swiss chassidim were astounded by the bank manager’s story. However, the Makor Baruch was not surprised by the story. He was well aware of his father’s habit to greet all Jews warmly, thereby fulfilling the words of Chazal to be the first to greet each person. One warm greeting to the bank manager had spurred a close relationship with the Rebbe which lasted for decades."
The wedding season is upon us. Next time you are seated at a table and there is someone at the table who doesn't know anyone seated next to him/her, why not initiate a conversation with that person?
And what about cell phones? Maybe, we can walk down the street and instead of talking on the cell phone, we can focus on the poeple passing us and greet them with a hearty hello or shalom aleichem?
No comments:
Post a Comment