Searching for Love

I came across the following post the other day which describes what makes a good marriage. The blogger was saddened by two friends announcing that they were getting divorced. The post continued with a description of the relationship between Yitzchak and Rivkah. In Genesis 24:67 the Torah states, "And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife. And he loved her. And Isaac was comforted after his mother's death." The question arises as to why the word love comes after Isaac had married Rebekah. According to Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, there are two kinds of love.

" The first type of love is that which is based on fulfilling one’s emotional or physical needs. That type of love is nothing more than self-love, and is bound to dissipate.
But there is a higher type of love: that which relates to marriage as a mitzvah. A mitzvah is an act that reveals G-d’s presence in the world. Yitzhak and Rivkah wanted their marriage to act as a vessel to achieve this exalted goal. The story records Yitzhak’s love for Rivkah after marriage to teach that their relationship was founded on this higher love, a love of mitzvah, and not self-fulfillment.
A relationship that places God at the center changes the entire dynamic; the couple does not ask, “What have you done for me lately?” but rather, “How can we bring the presence of Hashem into our home?” It is this type of love that the Torah outlines as a foundation for a successful marriage... "
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Blogs/Message.aspx/3591

I then came across a post by Linda Cucher entitled, "Words are secret of marital bliss".
"As a rock star once sang, "You can't always get what you want ... but you get what you need."

In His great wisdom, God has put you together with precisely the person you need to be married to......

....So, you hoped and prayed for the Almighty to find you a wonderful bashert to spend the rest of your life with, and He said, "It's your lucky day - here he is/here she is."And so you get married, and it's wonderful and beautiful, and life is good..... After the honeymoon is over, in that inevitable moment of marital angst, how many of us have thought to ourselves, "Who is this person and what am I doing with them?" Now you begin to wonder - has this been some kind of big cosmic mistake?

The answer is no. These are the very first words to know and tell yourself: God manages the world well. There are no accidents. As Albert Einstein once said, "God doesn't play dice with the universe." You are married to exactly the person with whom God wants you to work out His will. This is the partner he has designated for you, with whom you will reach your potential and achieve something much more meaningful together than either of you would individually."

Linda Cucher counsels couples to speak gently and in compassionate tones to one another.

"The wisdom of our tradition teaches that we are each given a certain quota of words in our lifetime, and they are all recorded by the heavens above. What do you want your record to say about how you used words to create kindness, tolerance, forgiveness and compassion in your life? It is my conviction that when we behave with our partner in this way, the blessings follow. The power of words is indeed the way to marital bliss."

http://www.jewishaz.com/issues/story.mv?050610+words

So, let's resolve to work on our marriages, to speak kindly to one another and to work to bring the presence of Hashem into our homes. As Rabbi Wallerstein stated, a couple who doesn't have a good relationship with each other, can't have a good relationship with G-d. Because you can't give what you don't have.