The following is an excerpt from an email from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation.
If we were to search for the first spark of loshon hora as it begins to develop in a person’s mind, we would find it in the part of the brain that makes judgments. Every day, many times a day, each of us observes other people’s actions, and we can choose to judge those actions positively or negatively. For many people, the first response is to judge negatively. The Chofetz Chaim tells us that when loshon hora results from negative judgment, it is a violation of the commandment to judge people favorably (Vayikra 19:15). Even if the person is a beinoni (an average individual, someone who is neither righteous nor wicked) and certainly if he is known as a G-d-fearing individual, we are obligated by the Torah to judge his actions and words in a positive way.
http://www.chofetzchaimusa.org/morning_machsom_welcome/morninginspirchoose.html
Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv (known as The Alter of Kelm):
Always remember the favors people did for you.
Remember their good qualities and not their faults.
One who follows this path will be loved by all.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DerechEmet/
I recently attended a wedding. The comments made were that the music was too loud, the food wasn't good, the wedding was extravagant, it was fantastic, a beautiful affair. People's judgments ranged the gamut. The guests attended the same wedding. Why did some find it wonderful while others had nothing but complaints? Maybe it wasn't what the hosts did, but how we view the event. I will strive to see the good in people and in situations. I am sure I will be happier by doing so.
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