Love and respect

A number of days ago, I heard a rabbi talk about the difference between love and respect. A husband has to give honor to his wife yoter megufo - more than himself and to go beyond his self-serving motivations. He told the audience about the class he attended before he got married. The lecturer spoke about a commonplace occurrence in marriage. The wife brings home two dresses and she asks her husband which one he likes best. The man responds by saying, "whichever one you like." Or the wife might ask which of two menus he would prefer for supper. Again, the man will respond by saying, "whichever one you prefer." Love is when you think inside your own ego. To you, it makes no difference and your response to your wife is framed within your own thinking. Respect, however, is to go beyond one's ego and to place yourself in your wife's shoes. Obviously, she is asking the question because she would appreciate a definitive answer. To respect her would be to give her an answer to her dilemma.
Another example he spoke about was when a man came to him and said, "I don't feel comfortable buying flowers because I think it is a waste of money. If I buy my wife a dress, or an electrical appliance, I know that I am making an investment that will last for months, or even years. But flowers wither within days."
The man was counseled to step outside his way of thinking and to buy the flowers because his wife would appreciate the gesture.