Currently, I am learning hilchos shemirat halashon, according to the daily calendar set by Harav Yehudah Segal zt"l. The Manchester Rosh Yeshiva said, "There is no family that has taken on the daily learning of Shmiras Halason that has not seen a yeshua (salvation), whether for health, shidduchim, or children. It always helps in some way".Today I read the following in Guard your Tongue by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin.
Part 4:4 Losing your merits
"On the day of reckoning many people will find unearned merits inscribed in their ledgers. They will say, "We have not performed these good deeds." They will then be told, "These are the good deeds of people who have spoken against you." Likewise, the people whose merits have been taken away will be told, "You have forfeited your good deeds when you spoke against others." Similarly, some will find offenses in their ledgers that they never committed and will be told, "These are the offenses committed by the people you have spoken against."
"On the day of reckoning many people will find unearned merits inscribed in their ledgers. They will say, "We have not performed these good deeds." They will then be told, "These are the good deeds of people who have spoken against you." Likewise, the people whose merits have been taken away will be told, "You have forfeited your good deeds when you spoke against others." Similarly, some will find offenses in their ledgers that they never committed and will be told, "These are the offenses committed by the people you have spoken against."
So, the next time you want to denigrate someone, remember that you are actually doing him a favor by causing his bad deeds to be written in your account.
The halachos immediately preceding what I learned today deals with what information is allowed to be reported concerning a shidduch. I would advise you to read Chapter 10:4-14 to familiarize yourself with what is allowed and prohibited to be said.
Nowhere does it say that you can tell a person, "The boy definitely doesn't want to live in Israel", when you haven't asked the boy directly. If a person is inquiring about a girl or a boy and you don't know the answer, don't make up one, but, rather, clarify the issue before giving information.
Also, I didn't come across a halacha which says that when you are asked for information, you are allowed to say, "It won't work". Let the boy and girl decide that and don't take it upon yourself to stop a shidduch before it begins.
Let's do our utmost to help singles find their zivugim. Do you have an idea? Suggest it. The worst they can say is, "It won't work."
So it's like mammash a mitzvah to speak loshon hora about people in order to diminish their avairos and give them more mitzvos! What more beautiful and selfless act of kindness can there be?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insight and keep that loshon horah coming!
wow!
ReplyDeleteReally makes you think twice before you open your mouth.
Silence is definitely golden.