Shabbat Shalom

"Hello ... You have reached the office of the Board of Rabbis.
If you are Orthodox, press 1.
If you are Conservative, press 1 or 2.
If you are Reform, press any button you like.
If you are Reconstructionist, press all the buttons.
Please hold while I transfer your call .

(1) Hello. You have reached the Orthodox rabbi.
The answer to your question is that it is forbidden by the Torah.

(2) Hello. You have reached the Conservative rabbi.
The answer to your question is that we have ruled that either answer is
acceptable to some of us and neither answer is acceptable to all of us. We
hope this has been helpful.

(3) Hello. You have reached the Reform rabbi.
The answer to your question is: if you want to, sure, why not? Who are we to
say?

(4) Hello. You have reached the Reconstructionst rabbi.
The answer to your question presumes there is an answer to your question.
However, my role is to empower you to answer your own question.
To answer your own question, please hang up now. "

"Sadie Cohen lived in an integrated neighborhood on Long Island. A neighbor, a very friendly and generous black woman, stopped by one Saturday and offered, "Mrs Cohen, I have to go to NYC this afternoon to meet my daughter. Can I get you anything?" Mrs. Cohen thanked her and counter-offered, "Listen, I have a commuter's ticket for the train. Why don't you use my ticket, and you'll bring it back tonight. After all, it's paid for. Why should you pay extra?"
The neighbor thanked her and with the ticket in hand, made her way to the train station. When the train arrived, she boarded, and as the conductor walked through, he happened to glance at the ticket, noticing the name "Sadie Cohen.".
The conductor asked, "Excuse me, madam, are you Sadie Cohen , the person whose name appears on this ticket?"
The woman smiled sweetly and nodded her head in the affirmative.
More than a little suspicious, the conductor asked, "Would you let me compare signatures? Would you mind signing your name?"
The black lady turned indignantly to the conductor and snapped, "Man, are you crazy? You want me to write on Shabbos?"
http://forum.russianamerica.com/f/archive/index.php/t-17324.html

Have a good Shabbos.