Joking around

Just a few jokes that I came across last night and wanted to share with you.

Subject: Funny People.
Funny people, the Europeans, my paternal grandfather used to joke. When he left it in 1937, there was graffiti on the walls everywhere: "Jews, go to Palestine". And now when I visit a European capital, the graffiti says "Jews, get out of Palestine". Have they no memory, the Europeans?

Subject: The Ultimate Wedding Guest.
A man goes to a large catering hall on Long Island. He enters the hall and takes in the sites, 1000 people enjoying themselves, fressing, drinking, music, etc... Just then a man approaches him and says "Glad you could make it here!! Which side are you on, the Kallahs or the Chossens??" (Bride or Groom). He replied "The Kallahs side". The man instantly shouted, "GET OUT OF HERE!" "Why, what's wrong?" replied the newly arrived guest. The man answered, "This is a Bar Mitzvah!!!"

Subject: Religious Nuts.
A local priest and rabbi were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One driver that drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them: "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" All of a sudden they heard a big splash. They looked at each other and the priest said to the rabbi, "You think we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

Subject: Two Towels.
When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation."
http://www.harryc.com/j-jokes901.htm