In a speech proclaiming April 5 as education and sharing day, President Obama stated, "Yet knowledge alone will not bring the future our children deserve. Our schools and community institutions must also help each child develop a moral compass. Education must blend basic American values such as honesty, personal responsibility, and service. These indispensable elements will not only help children succeed in challenging work environments, they will also help our youth engage in and contribute to their communities.Few have better understood or more successfully promoted these ideas than Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who emphasized the importance of education and good character. Through the establishment of educational and social service institutions across the country and the world, Rabbi Schneerson sought to empower young people and inspire individuals of all ages. On this day, we raise his call anew."
My dream is to institute a class in every school, be it public or private, where manners are to be taught, along with respect for elderly people. Nowadays, when traveling on a bus or train, it is not often that one sees a youngster getting up to give his seat to an elderly person.
I think, however, that the basic precepts on how to behave in a courteous fashion should be taught at home, rather than during school hours. So, parents, inculcate in your children respect for the older generation and teach them common courtesy.
Allow me to quote an excerpt from an excellent article by Dr. Yitzchok Levine, published in the Jewish Press.
"Respect for one's elders seems to have become a thing of the past for many young people. One even encounters so-called frum adults who appear to have never learned that derech eretz toward one's fellow man and woman should be part and parcel of one's dealings with others.
The Torah commands us to honor our parents, our older siblings and older people in general. Indeed, Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch pointed out that honoring parents is one of the foundation stones of Yahadus, because our basis for accepting the truth of the Torah is something that is passed on from one generation to the next.
When I was growing up (I was born in 1941), it was made very clear to me that you never called an adult by his or her first name. It was always "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Miss" or "Aunt" or "Uncle." Calling an older person by his or her first name would instantly result in a rebuke from my parents.
Today I often hear children call their adult aunts or uncles by their first names. Some years ago one of my sons had a classmate over for Shabbos. (The boys were 10 years old at the time.) After Shabbos I asked our guest what he was going to do now, since his parents had gone away. He replied, "I am going to call Shloime. He will pick me up." I asked, "Who is Shloime?" The boy replied, "My uncle." I was taken aback at how this young man thought nothing of calling his uncle, who was, of course, an adult, by his first name.
I have asked people in their twenties and thirties and even older why they let themselves be called by their first names. They reply, "Being called 'Uncle' (or 'Aunt') makes me feel old." They do not seem to realize that they are doing a disservice to their nieces and nephews. Allowing them to address older people by their first names fosters the idea that everyone is on an equal level. This is not true. The Torah tells us that age deserves respect, and children have to be made aware of this as often as possible.
And then there are the youngsters who push ahead of me when I am about to leave shul. Often I put my hand on the shoulder of such a fellow and say to him, somewhat facetiously, "Sir! I believe that I am a bit older than you are!" More often than not the young man has no idea what I am talking about.
I was taught that you always let an older person go through a door before you. It was just one more part of practicing derech eretz, but it seems to have been lost in many circles today."
The Torah commands us to honor our parents, our older siblings and older people in general. Indeed, Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch pointed out that honoring parents is one of the foundation stones of Yahadus, because our basis for accepting the truth of the Torah is something that is passed on from one generation to the next.
When I was growing up (I was born in 1941), it was made very clear to me that you never called an adult by his or her first name. It was always "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Miss" or "Aunt" or "Uncle." Calling an older person by his or her first name would instantly result in a rebuke from my parents.
Today I often hear children call their adult aunts or uncles by their first names. Some years ago one of my sons had a classmate over for Shabbos. (The boys were 10 years old at the time.) After Shabbos I asked our guest what he was going to do now, since his parents had gone away. He replied, "I am going to call Shloime. He will pick me up." I asked, "Who is Shloime?" The boy replied, "My uncle." I was taken aback at how this young man thought nothing of calling his uncle, who was, of course, an adult, by his first name.
I have asked people in their twenties and thirties and even older why they let themselves be called by their first names. They reply, "Being called 'Uncle' (or 'Aunt') makes me feel old." They do not seem to realize that they are doing a disservice to their nieces and nephews. Allowing them to address older people by their first names fosters the idea that everyone is on an equal level. This is not true. The Torah tells us that age deserves respect, and children have to be made aware of this as often as possible.
And then there are the youngsters who push ahead of me when I am about to leave shul. Often I put my hand on the shoulder of such a fellow and say to him, somewhat facetiously, "Sir! I believe that I am a bit older than you are!" More often than not the young man has no idea what I am talking about.
I was taught that you always let an older person go through a door before you. It was just one more part of practicing derech eretz, but it seems to have been lost in many circles today."
Click here to read the entire article, which I highly recommend.
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