In a previous post, I discussed the shidduch crisis and invited readers to submit suggestions on how to alleviate the problem. The following is one reader's response, who asked that his letter be posted anonymously.
"It can not be denied that finding an appropriate shidduch is very difficult. The difficulty has been characterized as a "crisis" and this is not a hysterical exaggeration articulated by weary and exasperated parents, singles and Orthodox Jewish leaders. Indeed, if the crisis is not immediately attended to and solved, it will lead to real disastrous consequences and has, most likely, already produced such results.
The problem is multi-faceted and is caused by many reasons. Some of the reasons have to do with money problems, unreasonable expectations, character defects and other factors, but there is no question that one reason is the extreme isolation and separation of marriage candidates from suitable prospects. Undoubtedly, the integrity of those seeking an appropriate shidduch must be carefully guarded. After all we are speaking about Orthodox Jews who bear the responsibility of acting according to strict Jewish law and time honored customs of our forefathers. But there are perhaps legitimate mechanisms that can be adapted to permit contact between the marriage candidates. Why not allow for carefully supervised gatherings? After all, even parades of eligible women were allowed in Talmudic times on various occasions.
The proposal here is to allow candidates, who are carefully vetted, to meet at a relaxed, but chaperoned, mixed-gender social event. I personally recommend that the chaperones only be mature married women of sterling reputation and unquestionable ethical standing. Leading Rabbinical authorities would set the standards for such gatherings. Events such as these will allow a broader opportunity for Orthodox singles to meet, interact and find their basherte. "
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