Grant our wishes for the good

On the Sabbath preceding Rosh Chodesh, we recite a prayer for the new month. One of the requests we ask of Hashem is for "chayim sheyemalei Hashem mishalot libenu letova". We ask Hashem to grant our wishes for the good. Sometimes, we desire something that would not be to our benefit. Only G-d knows what is best for us.

A new mattress. Wouldn't everyone jump at the opportunity? To throw out the old and bring in the new? However, a new mattress might not always be to our benefit, as evidenced by the following story reported today on Ynet.

"An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress with $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites, Israeli media reported Wednesday.
The woman told Army Radio that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise on Monday and threw out the old one, only to discover that her mother had hidden her life savings inside. She was identified only as Anat, a resident of Tel Aviv. When she went to look for the mattress it had already been taken by garbage men, she said. Subsequent searches at three different landfill sites turned up nothing."

Any other lessons to be drawn from this anecdote? Feel free to comment.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3729164,00.html

Searching for Love

I came across the following post the other day which describes what makes a good marriage. The blogger was saddened by two friends announcing that they were getting divorced. The post continued with a description of the relationship between Yitzchak and Rivkah. In Genesis 24:67 the Torah states, "And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife. And he loved her. And Isaac was comforted after his mother's death." The question arises as to why the word love comes after Isaac had married Rebekah. According to Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, there are two kinds of love.

" The first type of love is that which is based on fulfilling one’s emotional or physical needs. That type of love is nothing more than self-love, and is bound to dissipate.
But there is a higher type of love: that which relates to marriage as a mitzvah. A mitzvah is an act that reveals G-d’s presence in the world. Yitzhak and Rivkah wanted their marriage to act as a vessel to achieve this exalted goal. The story records Yitzhak’s love for Rivkah after marriage to teach that their relationship was founded on this higher love, a love of mitzvah, and not self-fulfillment.
A relationship that places God at the center changes the entire dynamic; the couple does not ask, “What have you done for me lately?” but rather, “How can we bring the presence of Hashem into our home?” It is this type of love that the Torah outlines as a foundation for a successful marriage... "
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Blogs/Message.aspx/3591

I then came across a post by Linda Cucher entitled, "Words are secret of marital bliss".
"As a rock star once sang, "You can't always get what you want ... but you get what you need."

In His great wisdom, God has put you together with precisely the person you need to be married to......

....So, you hoped and prayed for the Almighty to find you a wonderful bashert to spend the rest of your life with, and He said, "It's your lucky day - here he is/here she is."And so you get married, and it's wonderful and beautiful, and life is good..... After the honeymoon is over, in that inevitable moment of marital angst, how many of us have thought to ourselves, "Who is this person and what am I doing with them?" Now you begin to wonder - has this been some kind of big cosmic mistake?

The answer is no. These are the very first words to know and tell yourself: God manages the world well. There are no accidents. As Albert Einstein once said, "God doesn't play dice with the universe." You are married to exactly the person with whom God wants you to work out His will. This is the partner he has designated for you, with whom you will reach your potential and achieve something much more meaningful together than either of you would individually."

Linda Cucher counsels couples to speak gently and in compassionate tones to one another.

"The wisdom of our tradition teaches that we are each given a certain quota of words in our lifetime, and they are all recorded by the heavens above. What do you want your record to say about how you used words to create kindness, tolerance, forgiveness and compassion in your life? It is my conviction that when we behave with our partner in this way, the blessings follow. The power of words is indeed the way to marital bliss."

http://www.jewishaz.com/issues/story.mv?050610+words

So, let's resolve to work on our marriages, to speak kindly to one another and to work to bring the presence of Hashem into our homes. As Rabbi Wallerstein stated, a couple who doesn't have a good relationship with each other, can't have a good relationship with G-d. Because you can't give what you don't have.

Perek Shira - What the frog taught King David

The past few bi-monthly issues of a local community paper carried attests to the benefit of saying Perek Shira. One person wrote that she said 3 cycles of Perek Shira for 40 days and merited to see salvation. Perek Shira is the song that is sung daily by Hashem's creations.
People who are looking for a shidduch are advised by some to recite Perek Shira for 40 days.
Rabbi Lazer Brody has written a series of articles about Perek Shira. In the first article, he writes:
"Rebbe (Yehuda Hanassi) said, "Anyone who engrosses himself in Pereq Shira in this world merits to learn and to teach, to observe and to fulfill and to perform (Torah and mitzvoth), and his learning succeeds, and he is delivered from the Evil Inclination and from all harm, and from castigation of the grave and from the verdict of Gehennom, and from the birth pangs of Moshiach, and enjoys longevity of days, and merits life in the World-to-Come......
........Our sages of blessed memory said that when King David completed the Book of Psalms, he had a feeling of self-satisfaction. He said before The Holy One Blessed Be He, "Is there any creation in Your world that says songs and praises more than I do?"
That same hour, a frog appeared to him, and said to him: "David! Don't be complacent, for I say songs and praises more than you do. Not only that, but three thousand parables are said about every sonnet that I recite, for it is said (Kings I 5:12), "And he spoke three thousand parables and his songs were one-thousand and five." Not only that, but I involve myself in a great mitzvah, and this is the mitzvah that I involve myself with: There's a specie on the beach whose sustenance comes exclusively from (creatures that live) in the water, and when it's hungry, it takes me and eats me. I therefore fulfill the mitzvah of that what is said (Proverbs 25:21-22), "If your adversary is hungry, feed him; if he's thirsty, give him water to drink, for you shall heap hot coals on his head and Hashem shall reward you."
Full article can be accessed here.
In a previous post, I wrote about another segula for a shidduch and asked readers if they would like to particpate in saying Tehilim Perek 13 for 13 days and daven for 13 names on a list. If anyone is interested in adding a name and taking upon themselves to say Tehilim Perek 13 for 13 days, please contact me at devorah@live.co.uk.
May you merit to find a shidduch hagun bekarov. To see a video of a shidduch made through the comments section of a blog, click here.

If a tree falls in a forest

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

If an attempted terror attack by Palestinian gunmen using explosives, mines and booby trapped horses against the IDF is not condemned by opposition leader Tzipi Livni, but, instead she harshly condemns threats and violence against both police officers in Jerusalem and IDF officers in the West Bank by Haredim and settlers, does that mean that the terror attack was never attempted? (Incidentally, click here to read an interesting article by Caroline Glick about Tzip Livni.)

If animal rights groups such as PETA do not condemn the use of booby trapped horses, but focus, instead, on shechita practices, does that mean militants are free to use animals in such a barbaric fashion?

If Secretary of State Clinton says that settlement expansion is unhelpful, but doesn't utter one grievance against the use of mines and explosives and a planned terror attack at the Gaza crossing, does that mean that such an attack is helpful?

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

The Don't Quit Poem

Shlomo Hamelech tells us in Mishlei Proverbs 24:16: "Ki Sheva Yipol Tzaddik Vekum, Ureshaim Yikashalu Berah.- A Righteous person falls many times and he gets up , and wicked people stumble with evil ."

After Abraham Lincoln lost a senate race he was quoted as saying, "The path was worn and slippery. My foot slipped from under me, knocking the other out of the way, but I recovered and said to myself, 'It's a slip and not a fall'"

Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. He had tried over 2,000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times . He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000 -step process."
The above quotes were taken by from an article entitled "Never give up" by Rabbi Shlomo Price. It is a most interesting article which I highly recommend to read in its entirety.

A soul's sole concern

A friend of mine passed away on Erev Shavuos. Last night, her family organized a hesped for her in the synagogue where they prayed. A number of speakers related anecdotes of her life in an eloquent and moving fashion.
Two incidents stood out in my mind.
Rabbi S. spoke about her complete lack of ego with her sole concern being for the other. She was instrumental in establishing a telephone helpline for the community.
Once, a man approached her and he spilled out his troubles, explaining to her that he had no job. She listened to him and commiserated with him, but was unable to find the man a job.
She told Rabbi S. how bad she felt for not being able to help the man.
In an effort to console her, Rabbi S. told her the following story.
When the Nazi death camps were liberated, American soldiers saw the emaciated bodies of the survivors and started to give them food. Many people died when consuming the food, because they were unused to the large intake. Finally, the soldiers were issued a command that prohibited them from giving the survivors any food.
An emaciated eight year old boy went over to an American Jewish soldier and asked him for something to eat. With tears in his eyes, the soldier had to turn the child down. Instead, he embraced the boy with both arms and said, "I can't give you food, but I can give you love."
Soon, a line formed with other children, waiting to be hugged, as well. Some cried for their parents but they all were warmed by the embrace.
Rabbi S. told my friend that, although she was unable to help the man in finding a job, she had helped him by providing a listening ear and emotional support.
My friend wasn't consoled. She said that the soldier was forbidden to give the boy food, but she wasn't forbidden from helping the man find a job.
My friend's son spoke next and talked about her devotion to prayer. Towards the end, she was in a lot of pain and was very weak. Still, she wanted to pray. Too weakened to recite full prayers, she recited the letters of the hebrew alphabet one by one and said that Hashem should connect the letters to form words.
On my way home, there was a great downpour. As lightning streaked the sky, I uttered the blessing of "oseh maaseh bereishot" with great feeling. After reciting the blessing, I thanked G-d for giving me the strength to recite every word as I remembered my friend who had been unable to even form words, as she lay on her hospital bed.
It is my fervent hope that the prayers that were uttered on her behalf will pierce the heavens and that Hashem will grant her family many instances of joyful celebrations.

Sort of god

Thanks to Atlas Shrugs for making me aware of this video.

Dear Mr. Evans,
I caught some of what you had to say the other day about President Obama. When you said that he was some sort of god, I was jolted wide awake.
I would like to invite you to a Judaism 101 course that I am organizing just for you. I will begin by explaining that Jews recite myriad blessings throughout the day. The first three words of the blessings are "Baruch Atah Hashem - Blessed are you, Oh Lord". Note that the first word isn't Barack but rather Baruch. In other words, Jews don't recite "Barack atah Hashem - Barack (Hussein Obama), you are Oh Lord, but rather Blessed are you Oh Lord".
Admission to the course is free. All you have to do to gain entrance to the course is to recite the first two commandments with conviction.
1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
2. Do not have any other gods before me.
In other words, there is only one G-d. No human being can be a god or a sort of god.

Dear Prime Minister Netanyahu,
As you announced that you are going to make a speech about peace during the coming week, I am sure you are faced with pressures from all sides. The left wing wants you to say one thing, the right wing wants you to say the opposite. The Americans are expecting to hear about concessions, as too are the Arab states.

I would respectfully request you to consider whose opinion matters the most. As you recite the words that have been scripted for you, ask yourself one thing. Will Hashem be happy with what I have to say?
Wishing you much success in your endeavours and, with G-d's help, you will make the right choices.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Yesterday, Yahoo published an article entitled, "Be Careful What You Wish For" by Laura Rowley.

A number of years ago, psychologists Richard Ryan and Tim Kasser conducted a series of studies that found people who make the pursuit of money and materialism a top goal in life have lower well-being. They experienced higher anxiety, depressive symptoms, lower self-esteem, and more physical, behavioral, and relationship problems. They also scored lower on indicators testing for vitality (feeling alive and vigorous) and self-actualization. In studies done by Kasser and Ryan and others, the findings were similar across a variety of age groups, income levels, and countries.
Skeptics suggested that lower well-being was a function of the difficulty and stress involved in attaining those goals -- but once people achieved their aspirations, happiness would surely follow. Or, as the actor Johnny Depp told 'Vanity Fair' magazine this month, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness…but it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it.”
A new study conducted by Ryan and two others followed graduating college students who set a range of goals at one- and two-year intervals. The goals were both extrinsic (money, status, personal image) and intrinsic (relationships, health, community involvement). The results confirmed the earlier work: People who sought riches and status -- even when they attained them -- were less satisfied with life than their peers. The research appears in the June issue of 'The Journal of Research in Personality'.
“Those who had the biggest increase in the amount of attainment of wealth, fame, and image actually showed no increase at all in well-being -- zero,” says Edward Deci, psychology professor at the University of Rochester, who co-authored the study with Ryan and Christopher Niemiec. “Even more startling, some of those people showed increases in ill-being, including depression and anxiety.”
... Says Deci, “We believe there are three fundamental needs that have to be met to be psychologically healthy: relatedness -- to have relationships with other people and feel a sense of belonging and inclusion; to feel competent, like you can effectively manage in the world and have an impact on the world; and autonomy or self-initiation -- that what you do is in line with your basic interests and values, and you’re not doing it just because someone is pushing you around.”
To read full article, click here.
The following is the Jewish take on the pursuit of happiness.

The possuk in Koheles states (6:7) that whatever man acquires will neither satisfy him nor make him happy. The Medrash explains by way of a parable that if a farmer marries a princess, he will never be able to satisfy her. Even if he buys her items which would be considered “luxurious” for a farmer - the most fancy dungarees with the most colorful patches, and a ton of straw to sleep on - it will not make her happy, since she is used to royal clothing and the most beautiful furniture. Similarly, Jewish souls come mitachas kissai hakavod (“from below the throne of Hashem”), and are used to being close to the shechina. All the money, yachts, and cigarettes in the world will not bring a Jewish soul satisfaction.
From Rosh Chodesh Elul until the end of Sukkos it is customary in many communities to recite the twenty-seventh perek of Tehillim at the conclusion of the tefillos. In that perek, Dovid Hamelech points out that he only has one real request of Hashem: “to be able to stay in the House of Hashem for the rest of his life.” The one and only thing that people are searching for is happiness, and Dovid Hamelech defines happiness as being “in the presence of Hashem.”
http://www.torahweb.org/torah/2007/moadim/rsch_elul.html

The blessing of a Tzaddik

Former Prime Minister Olmert is recovering from prostate surgery which was performed in New York earlier today. Ladaat.net is reporting that the operation was successful. Before the operation, the former Prime Minister spoke to Rav Ovadiah Yosef and asked him for a blessing. The Rav gave him a beracha, wished him a refuah sheleima, and told him that the merits that he accrued in helping the Torah world would stand him in good stead.
http://www.ladaat.net/article.php?do=viewarticle&articleid=5056'

I came across the following question asked to Rabbi Ben Diction.
"What is the significance of a blessing from a Chassidic Rabbi? "
The following is the response that was given.
"In our prayers we say G-d "does the will of those who fear Him." As our Sages teach: A tzaddik (righteous person) decrees, and Hashem fulfills. Also: "Anyone who has a sick person in his household should go to a chacham (a wise person) to pray for him." Grand Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Horowitz (the "Bostoner Rebbe") says that a Chassidic Rabbi is in many respects like a plumber. Hashem wants only to bestow goodness upon us, and all a person needs to do is make himself into a vessel to receive the good. But our bad deeds "jam up" the pipes through which Divine goodness flows. A Chassidic Rabbi "unclogs" these pipes for the person. A righteous person has a power of prayer more than most of us. Torah scholars (Chassidic or not) who have virtually perfected their character are known to have such powers."
http://ohr.edu/ask_db/ask_main.php/198/Q1/

The Wisdom of the Rooster

by Michoel Gourarie

Every day, prayers begin with thanking G‑d for our basic needs like the power of sight, the ability to walk, our clothing, shoes and all other essentials. However, there is one blessing that seems to stand out a little. In this prayer we thank G‑d "for giving the rooster understanding to distinguish between day and night."
There are two difficulties with this blessing. Firstly, all the other blessings thank G‑d for providing our basic needs. While it is an amazing phenomenon that roosters crow at the beginning of each day, it does not seem to be a basic need. Secondly, telling the difference between light and dark is not so difficult. Why does it require special understanding to distinguish between day and night?

A friend once shared with me a great thought. Although a rooster crows at the beginning of each day it actually happens some time before it gets light. When it senses that dawn will break soon, and light is on the way to substitute the darkness, he emits the crowing noise that became the ancient alarm clock.
In every day there are periods of light—clarity, blessing, peace of mind and prosperity. But there are also sometimes patches of darkness—challenge, confusion and difficulty. It takes special strength not to be caught up in the moments of challenge. It takes maturity to look beyond the darkness and see the light that awaits us. A wise person learns from the rooster. He/she knows that the darkness is only temporary and light is on the way. The rooster is symbolic of an attitude filled with optimism, hope and belief. The rooster teaches us to envisage and celebrate blessing even before it comes.
Every day we thank G‑d for the wisdom of the rooster. It is the rooster's lesson that will carry us through every part of the day.

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/715589/jewish/The-Wisdom-of-the-Rooster.htm