HERE’S an etiquette experiment for you: E-mail an invitation for a party, one month out, to 45 friends. Request an R.S.V.P. Provide a follow-up e-mail message, two weeks later, politely reminding them to get back to you.
How many will?
My experiment arose from plans for an evening of food, drink and literature, with readings by myself and two other writers, at a restaurant. Not exactly a drop-in-if-you’re-around kind of thing, so I asked friends to R.S.V.P. My initial message brought in a dozen responses, and the follow-up a few more, but days before the event I had a paltry 23. Not 23 who planned to come, but 23 who had bothered to respond. Half my invitees had blown me off. Why? I wasn’t peddling life insurance, after all.
Read full article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/opinion/15cooper.html?scp=1&sq=it’s%20my%20party%20and%20you%20have%20to%20answer&st=cse
The following is an excerpt from a column by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis.
..one lady recalled a column I had written regarding invitations to semachos. At that time, I published a letter from someone who complained about lack of derech eretz - respect and common courtesy - with which some people treat wedding invitations.
The letter writer stated that, after she and her husband spent many weeks deliberating whom they would invite to their daughter's wedding, they sent out their invitations. But many people did not bother to respond, or if they did send back the card, it was with just a cold "no."
Daily, she would search her mail, but still some failed to acknowledge the invitation. As the date of the wedding approached, she called them, but even that turned out to be frustrating. More often than not, she encountered answering machines. Finally, when she did make contact, she would be given a glib response: "Oh yeah, I meant to send back the response card."
The same letter writer complained that some responded in the affirmative, and she made costly reservations for them, but they never showed. Still others came only for the chuppah and never thought of informing the host that they weren't staying for the seudah. They gave no thought to the expense incurred by the host or the unpleasant sight of half-empty tables.
"Since that article," the woman confided, "I always make a point of responding promptly, indicating my intentions, and add a personal message expressing my good wishes and appreciation."
http://www.jewishpress.com/pageroute.do/42520
How many will?
My experiment arose from plans for an evening of food, drink and literature, with readings by myself and two other writers, at a restaurant. Not exactly a drop-in-if-you’re-around kind of thing, so I asked friends to R.S.V.P. My initial message brought in a dozen responses, and the follow-up a few more, but days before the event I had a paltry 23. Not 23 who planned to come, but 23 who had bothered to respond. Half my invitees had blown me off. Why? I wasn’t peddling life insurance, after all.
Read full article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/opinion/15cooper.html?scp=1&sq=it’s%20my%20party%20and%20you%20have%20to%20answer&st=cse
The following is an excerpt from a column by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis.
..one lady recalled a column I had written regarding invitations to semachos. At that time, I published a letter from someone who complained about lack of derech eretz - respect and common courtesy - with which some people treat wedding invitations.
The letter writer stated that, after she and her husband spent many weeks deliberating whom they would invite to their daughter's wedding, they sent out their invitations. But many people did not bother to respond, or if they did send back the card, it was with just a cold "no."
Daily, she would search her mail, but still some failed to acknowledge the invitation. As the date of the wedding approached, she called them, but even that turned out to be frustrating. More often than not, she encountered answering machines. Finally, when she did make contact, she would be given a glib response: "Oh yeah, I meant to send back the response card."
The same letter writer complained that some responded in the affirmative, and she made costly reservations for them, but they never showed. Still others came only for the chuppah and never thought of informing the host that they weren't staying for the seudah. They gave no thought to the expense incurred by the host or the unpleasant sight of half-empty tables.
"Since that article," the woman confided, "I always make a point of responding promptly, indicating my intentions, and add a personal message expressing my good wishes and appreciation."
http://www.jewishpress.com/pageroute.do/42520
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