In a book entitled Shidduchim Shalom Bayis and Beyond, Dr. Meir Wikler focuses upon the appreciation we should show a shadchan for suggesting a match for our son/daughter.
The first consideration must always be hakaras hatov. Regardless of the reasons for suggesting any shidduch, both parties must not overlook their obligations of gratitude to whoever took the time and made the effort to suggest the shidduch.
A story was related about a Chassidic Rebbe who was looking for a shidduch for his daughter. After one shadchan suggested a young man, the "Rebbe indicated that he was not interested, and handed the shadchan some money." When the shadchan asked what the money was for, the Rebbe answered that it was shadchanus gelt. The shadchan protested but the Rebbe said that we "believe that it is predetermined just how many proposals we must listen to until we hear the right one. Your suggestion brought us closer. For that you are entitled to shadchanus gelt."
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