Becoming Accustomed

Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu: 'We must not become accustomed to miracles'

Count That Day Lost

by George Eliot

If you sit down at set of sun

And count the acts that you have done,

And, counting, find

One self-denying deed, one word

That eased the heart of him who heard,

One glance most kind

That fell like sunshine where it went --

Then you may count that day well spent.



But if, through all the livelong day,

You've cheered no heart, by yea or nay --

If, through it all

You've nothing done that you can trace

That brought the sunshine to one face--

No act most small

That helped some soul and nothing cost --

Then count that day as worse than lost.

I shared the poem “Count That Day Lost” because it reminded me deeply of my mother, who recently passed away. She had a simple but powerful mission in life: to make people feel seen, valued, and happy.

One story captures this better than anything else.

One day, my mother was in a supermarket when she noticed a woman shopping with her children. The children were remarkably well-behaved, and the whole family had a calm, gentle presence. My mother approached the woman and began to shower her with sincere compliments.

“Your children are so adorable, and they look so lovely,” she said warmly. Then she added, “And you are so beautiful.”

To my mother’s surprise, the woman began to cry.

She explained that she had lost her husband just a few weeks earlier. In her grief, she had started to feel invisible, wondering if anyone would ever notice her again—if anyone would ever say something kind to her. My mother’s simple, heartfelt words overwhelmed her. In that brief moment, she felt seen again.

That was who my mother was.

When I think about the message of “Count That Day Lost,” I realize that my mother never lost a day. Not really. She filled her days with small acts of kindness that made a lasting difference in the lives of others—often without even knowing it.

It reminds me that we are given countless opportunities each day to lift someone up: a kind word, a genuine compliment, a moment of attention. These things may seem small to us, but to someone else, they can mean everything. In memory of my mother, I try to carry this lesson forward. If I can make even one person feel seen or valued in a day, then it is a day well lived—and certainly not a day lost.