Constructive criticism

The following text is part of an interview in the New York Times between Adam Bryant and Dany Levy, founder of DailyCandy.com.

"Q. What was your approach when you first started managing people?
A. I joke sometimes that everything I needed to know about management I learned from working with emotionally disturbed kids, which I did for two summers. I don’t mean this in a negative way or derogatory way. But there are some basic principle human skills that I learned about this, like the criticism sandwich -- praise, constructive criticism, praise."

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/business/31corner.html

I found Ms. Levy used the right approach when delivering criticism. Sandwich it between words of praise. And for those on the receiving end of constructive criticism, here is a quote from an unknown source that I stumbled upon.

"Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified it is not criticism, learn from it."

The Miracle of Israel

The link to aish.com below contains a fascinating history of Palestine from the time of the British Mandate. Notice how Palestine, the designated homeland of the Jewish people, shrunk by 75% under British rule. With the world anticipating President Obama's speech tomorrow in Cairo, one wonders how much more Israel will be required to shrink. http://www.aish.com/literacy/jewishhistory/British_Refugee_Policy_Miracle_of_.asp

Avinu shebashamayim, tsur Yisrael vego'alo; barekh et medinat Yisrael

Angels and Devils

A recently published article in the Daily Telegraph entitled 'Angel' and 'devil' parts of the brain battle for supremacy by Richard Alleyne, stated that, "People have "angel" and "devil" parts of the brain that are in constant battle over their self control, a study has shown. Researchers discovered the different parts of the brain become active when they are tempted by unhealthy food.
The angel section leads a person to weigh abstract considerations such as "healthiness" against the basic desires of the devil part when craving rich food. The "angel" area is strong in individuals with good self control but less pronounced in the weak-willed."
Dr Antonio Rangel, from the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), whose research appears in the journal Science, said: "A very basic question in economics, psychology, and even religion, is why some people can exercise self-control but others cannot. "

The article continues to describe a study where, "Volunteers were then asked to make choices between their reference foods and other dishes, while their brain activity was scanned.
A pattern emerged which related to the "angel" and "devil" brain regions.
Participants with strong self control signals were able to balance health and taste in their minds and opt for healthier foods. Those whose "angels" did not speak loudly enough chose the tastier foods, regardless of nutritional value.
"After centuries of debate in social sciences we are finally making big strides in understanding self-control from watching the brain resist temptation directly," said co-author Professor Colin Camerer, also from Caltech. "This study, and many more to come, will eventually lead to much better theories about how self-control develops and how it works for different kinds of temptations." To read full article, click here.

Concerning the above article, Chai today magazine ran a headline, "Science discovers the truth of the Torah".

Chai today continues, "They excitedly announced a new scientific discovery which the Torah taught us thousands of years ago."

The article goes on to quote from the writings of Rabbo Chayim Vital in Shaar Hakedushah.

..."every Jew, whether righteous or wicked, possesses two souls and life-forces.

One soul...from which stems all the evil characteristics deriving from the four evil elements within it.... namely:anger and pride...the appetite for pleasures....scoffing, boasting and idle talk, and sloth and melancholy...

And the second Jewish soul is truly "a part of G-d above."

Mazel Tov!

The New York Post published an article about a bride who saved her neighbors' lives, after returning from her wedding reception. What a remarkable display of kindness and quick thinking action. On the most important day of her life, she set aside personal considerations and showed that saving lives is paramount.

I join in wishing the bride and groom a hearty mazal tov. As your wedding day started out with an amazing display of compassion for others, may your marriage be one of blessing and heartfelt caring for each other.

"Here comes the bride -- to the rescue!
Georgette Clemons had just left her wedding reception and was on her way to her Bridgeport, Conn., home when she spotted a neighbor's house ablaze and sprang into action in her long, silk bridal gown.
"We were passing the house and I saw flames and I yelled to stop and back up," she told The Post yesterday outside her office in Norwalk.
"We ran out to the front porch and started screaming for the family to come out," said Clemons...
....Lowell Eitelberg, 16, said he was on the first floor playing video games when he smelled smoke inside his house and then heard someone frantically yelling on the porch.
He was shocked to see his neighbor from five houses down wearing a wedding gown.
"She was holding on to her dress screaming, 'Your house is on fire! You need to get out!" he said.
It was the first time he had ever met Clemons.
Eitelberg emerged from the smoke and flames with the family's Labrador -- and his mom, Susan Schneiderman, 52, ran out carrying their mastiff, who has bad legs.
....Schneiderman said when it hit her that the woman being so helpful was wearing a bridal gown, she said, "Did you just get married?"
When she was told yes, Schneiderman replied, "Mazel tov!"
"I told her to go back to her festivities, but she stayed and helped."
Clemons, who lost her veil in the chaos, said, "I'm just happy they're safe."

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06022009/news/regionalnews/fire_heroines_bride__glory___172110.htm

Just one Shabbos

Notwithstanding the rally organized in Baltimore to promote the observance of Shabbos, the Baltimore Jewish Times has reported that the Rosenbloom Owings Mills Jewish Community Center board voted to open on the Sabbath by a vote tally of 97-33.

In an article entitled "Rabbis Weigh In On JCC Issue", Rabbi Nochum Katsenelenbogen stated the following:

"Everything a person sees or hears is to teach us a lesson in our service to G-d, so what can we learn from this?
1) If we do not constantly grow in our Judaism, we automatically slide downwards. If we don’t work on making Shabbos more meaningful in our lives, then Shabbos will lose its value. Each of us must choose a personal way to bring the beauty of Shabbos into our week in a more practical way.
2) There is a cloud of darkness and challenges hovering over us. We must combat it with light — the light of the Shabbat candles. I encourage everyone to light the Shabbat candles before sunset on Friday and to encourage another Jew to do the same. That is our mission in these challenging times.
3) An elderly man came to me and said, “How can the JCC do this? My father came off the boat. He called it ‘Shabbos Kodesh — the holy Shabbos.’ I call it ‘Shabbat.’ My children call it ‘Saturday.’ My grandchildren know it as the ‘day before Superbowl Sunday.’ Oy vey, what will be with us!” And the fellow burst into tears. His neshama [soul] knew and he felt that this is wrong, although he himself is not an observant Jew."

http://www.jewishtimes.com/index.php/jewishtimes/news/jt/local_news/rabbis_weigh_in_on_jcc_issue/12538

"The Babylonian Talmud states:
Rabbi Yochanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai: "If all the Jews were to observe just two Shabbatot properly, Redemption would come immediately." (Shabbat 118b)
The Jerusalem Talmud states:
If all the Jews were to observe just one Shabbat properly, the Son of David would come. (Ta'anit 1:1)
We may say that the sources are not actually contradictory. In truth, we must observe only one Shabbat, as stated in the Jerusalem Talmud, but the one we must observe is the second Shabbat, as stated in the Babylonian Talmud. There is, after all, a significant difference between the first Shabbat and the second. A Shabbat observed in a spiritual vacuum would surely be spiritually uplifting, but this is not the type of Shabbat which would lead to Redemption. This first Shabbat should serve a different purpose, optimally influencing the ensuing week, effecting Sunday, Monday, etc. The spiritual value of that first Shabbat observed gives a different hue to the rest of the week.
The second Shabbat, approached after a week so influenced, is completely different. It marks a spiritual apex, not a spiritual island. This is the type of Shabbat whose observance will bring about Redemption. It is the Shabbat of a week, and a world, uplifted. (see "Pri Tzaddik," Rabbi Zaddok HaCohen)"

http://www.aish.com/shabbatthemes/explorations/Shabbat_Imitating_Creation.asp

His best customer

For those of you who haven't read the Jpost article entitled "Veterans: Rose Saperstein: From New York to Jerusalem" by Jerrin Zumberg, the following text includes salient paragraphs about the nonagenarian. There is much to be learned from her life, how she kept busy by doing volunteer work and about her unshakable faith in the Almighty. Let's begin to live our lives according to her precepts, and we just might make it to a ripe old age, G-d willing.

"At 92, Rose Saperstein still prepares her famous spice cakes and vegetable liver for her family each Shabbat and reads an average four books a week.
...Born in Manhattan in 1917, Saperstein grew up on the Lower East Side in a neighborhood bustling with Orthodox Jewish life.
"We aren't only Orthodox, but fervent believers in the Almighty," she says."
"By the time she was married to a young businessman and World War II had come and gone, she was already deep into her life's work: volunteering."
"While Saperstein's husband buried his nose in the Talmud for the couple's retirement years, she kept busy volunteering. For 17 years she painted tanks, prepared and cleaned weapons for soldiers and tidied army bases. "I was past 80 and I was still in the army," she says proudly.
She also spent her days volunteering with the blind and for 17 years worked in the geriatrics ward and hospice at Shaare Zedek Hospital in Jerusalem."
"A deeply religious woman, she relies on her faith to explain not only the purpose of her life, but all her actions.
"I'm a very religious person in the sense that I don't make a move without feeling the Almighty is with me. One hundred times a day I find reasons to thank Him. I feel His presence and that is what keeps me going. I would say that is the essence of my life. I am His best customer."
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1243346489774&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Children, not trees

Rabbi Paysach Krohn wrote an article in jewishworldreview.com entitled, "To Blossom and to Grow", in which he described some children uprooting flowers from a neighbor's yard so that they could present their mother with flowers for Shavuot. After finding out where the children had received their flowers, the mother, with children in tow, went to apologize to the neighbor, Dr. Hurewitz. He accepted their apologies and did not berate them. A few days later, he even helped them plant their own tulip bulbs. Rabbi Krohn met the man some time later. He writes that, "Dr. Hurewitz confided in me that he did what he did because of what his spiritual mentor, Rabbi Jonathan Seidemann, once told him after some other children, years earlier, had ruthlessly cut down small but rare and expensive trees he had planted and nurtured. "Remember," said the rabbi to the-then visibly upset Dr. Hurewitz, "we are growing children, not trees."
How wonderful to plant priorities."
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0509/krohn_budding.php3
The story reminded me about an incident which my aunt related to me. She had met a woman in Israel who had raised ten marvelous children. She asked her what was the secret to her success. The woman answered that before she would berate one of her children, she would ask herself, "is what the child did today, going to affect his character ten years down the line?" She explained to my aunt that one of her children was playing up on the roof and had knocked down a dud shemesh - a solar water heated tank, causing water to come gushing all over the roof. She was about to rebuke him, but knew, that ten years into the future, this incident would not have affected his character development. So, she kept quiet.
A wise relative told me about a time when her child was playing with a model airplane in the house. She had asked the child to stop, but to no avail. Suddenly, the airplane came flying into her head. She hit the child and raised her hand to strike him a second time. As she was about to hit him, she paused and thought to herself. The first smack was to teach the child a lesson. But the second smack is for me, because I am hurting. Slowly, she let her hand fall to the side.

Our children are our guarantors

No, I am not Lubavitch, but I couldn't resist this adorable video in honor of Shavuot. Have a good yom tov and may we merit the opportunity to be able to fulfill all the mitzvot.

Eruv Tavshilin

"One is not permitted to prepare foods on Yom Tov for Shabbat (or for any other day). Therefore, if the holiday falls on Friday, one may not prepare for the Shabbat unless an Eruv Tavshilin has been made.It is the function of the Eruv Tavshilin to indicate that the preparation for Shabbat actually began before Yom Tov commenced. Food is set aside before the holiday begins and then eaten on Shabbat (preferably for Seudah Shlishit). The ritual of Eruv Tavshilin is performed on Erev Yom Tov, before Yom Tov begins. Take a matzah (or any baked food) with a cooked food (such as an egg, a piece of chicken, or fish) and set it aside to be eaten on Shabbat. While setting it aside, recite the Bracha:
"Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melach HaOlam, Asher Kidishanu B`Mitzvotov, Vitzivanu, Al Mitzvat Eruv. "
One also recites an Aramaic declaration.
"Bahadayn aruva yehay sharay lanah la'aphoray ulevashoolay uleatemoonay oleadelookay sheragah ulesakana uleme'ebad tzarecanah, miomah tavah leshabesah" which translates as: "With this Eruv, it will be permitted for us to bake, cook, broil, preserve warmth, light candles, and do all necessary things on Yom Tov for Shabbat." The Declaration is also found in the Siddur."
http://www.ortorah.org/erv_tav.htm

Note, that since Jews in the diaspora celebrate Shavuot on Shabbat, in addition to Friday, the Torah reading on Saturday will be related to Shavuot. However, in Eretz Yisrael, the Torah reading will be the parsha of the week. Rabbi Lazer Brody notes that for six weeks, those outside of Eretz Yisrael will be one week behind the Parsha that is read in Israel.

If you are Mikabel the Torah

"This week we celebrate Shavuos - the time of Kabalas HaTorah. The Chumash tells us that three months after leaving Metzrayim, Bnei Yisrael reached the desert of Sinai. There they camped before the mountain and began preparing themselves to accept the Torah. On the third day, the Shofar was blown and the nation gathered at the foot of the mountain -- "VaYizvu B’Tachtis HaHar."

The Gemara in Shabbos (Daf Pay Ches) teaches "V’Kafah Hakadosh Baruch Hu Alayhem Har Kigigis," Hashem held the mountain over them like a barrel. And He said to them "Im Atem Mikablim HaTorah Mutav," if you are Mikabel the Torah, all will be good. "V’Im Lav, Sham Tihay Kevuraschem," and if not, there will be your graves. This is pshat - the plain meaning of the words.

But there is a question to be asked - why does it say "Sham Tihay Kevuraschem" - there will be your graves? It should have said "Po" here would be your graves.

If we read the words just a little bit differently then it all makes sense. "Im Atem Mikablim HaTorah" - if you are Mikabel the Torah, "Mutav" - then things will be good for you. You will have good health, success, and a good life. "V'Im Lav" - and if things are not good for you - "Sham Tihay Kevuraschem" - there is your grave - in the Kabbalah.

Hashem promises us that if we are Mikabel the Torah, things will go well for us, but if things are not going well - then we need to understand that the problem lies in our Kabbalah.

Rashi tells us that as Klal Yisrael gathered at the base of Har Sinai they were "K'eesh Achad B'Lev Achad" - like one man with one heart. We also learned (see Divrei Mordechai for Rosh Chodesh Sivan) that this gathering was as important as Kabalas HaTorah. The word Achad is gematria Ahava, the Hebrew word for love. The truest form of Kabbalah is one that comes through Ahavas Hashem. May we all be Zocheh to share in this truest form of Kabbalah and "K'eesh Achad B'Lev Achad" go out to greet Melech Hamashiach B'Karov - speedily in our time."

This article is provided as part of Shema Yisrael Torah Network Permission is granted to redistribute electronically or on paper, provided that this notice is included intact.
http://www.shortvort.com/index.php?p=search&t=cat&s=shavuous