Three Words My Mother Lived By

Those who follow this blog regularly know that I have been silent this past week. I was sitting shiva for my mother. As I rise from shiva, I would like to dedicate the next few posts to her. She was a special, optimistic woman who truly loved people. I will share some anecdotes about her in the hope that her example may inspire others.

There are three simple words that captured her outlook on life: “It’s all good.”

Toward the end of her life, my mother suffered from physical ailments and a loss of mental acuity. Yet during the past year, whenever she was about to complain, she would stop herself and say simply, “It’s all good.” Those three words reflected her deep belief that, despite difficulties, there is always good to be found.

This past week, when I felt waves of sadness or anger, I found myself repeating her words. Instead of dwelling on those feelings, I would pause and say, “It’s all good.”

On the first day after the funeral, I needed to take a bus to reach the home where I would be sitting shiva with a relative. Only in Israel can you step onto a bus and encounter a moment like this. A woman on the bus was crying in panic because of the rockets that had been flying overhead during the past few weeks. Sitting across from her was a bus inspector, trying gently to calm her and offer words of encouragement.

He said to her, “Everyone has his or her day. What if someone is hit by a car and dies in a traffic accident? In fact, there was one last week when four people died.” He reminded her not to be afraid, because Hashem runs the world and determines life and death.

When he finished speaking, he looked at her and said, “Smile. It’s all good.”

I was blown away. In that moment, I felt as though I was hearing the very essence of my mother—her cheerful countenance, her warmth toward everyone she met, and her unwavering conviction expressed in those same three words.

Perhaps that is the challenge she leaves for us. Life will always give us reasons to complain, to worry, or to feel overwhelmed. But we can choose a different response. We can pause, take a breath, and look for the good that still exists.

And when we do, we might just find ourselves smiling and repeating her words:

“It’s all good.”

תפילין נותרו שלמות, הטלית חוררה: הנס הבלתי יאומן בבית בבני ברק